(Source: not-my-three-patch-problem, via oh-you-better-run)



(Source: gingerrlocks, via fuckyeahbritishcomedy)



gr8mycoconut:

croatstiels:

→tv characters who complete this ride: Bernard Black, Black Books

‘I bet his cornflakes tried to crawl out of the bowl’

(via paintwithlights)



Black Books

Black Books

(Source: mybelovedcheshire, via georgehasgonemental)



Manny: Hello! Bernard: Hello. Manny: Do you have The Little Book of Calm? I need The Little Book of Calm. Do you have it? I need it. I’m late for work. The – the – Calm, The little book of. Bernard: Uh…is this it? Manny: Oh, no. it’s too big, too big. Little. Just little. Small Bernard: This one? Manny: No. No. Calm. The Little Book of Calm. The little one. Bernard: This? Manny: That’s the one. Yes. Money. How much? Bernard: Two-fifty. Manny: Two-fifty. Bernard: I’ll just get you a bag. Manny: No bag, no. I don’t need a bag. Just the book. The book. Bernard: I’ll do you a receipt. Manny: No. I don’t need a receipt. That’s fine. Bernard: It’s broken. I’ll have to write one out. Manny: Please. Bernard: Little… Manny: Look, I’ll do it! …of Calm. Two-fifty. Thank you. Um… “Stroke a.” No. “Travel.” No. Ah. “Let – let – let go once in a while. You are a loose lily floating down an amber river.” Hah. Sorry. I hate my job. Bernard: What a strange man. Black Books January - First Meetings 12 months of 12 scenes in 2012

Manny: Hello!

Bernard: Hello.

Manny: Do you have The Little Book of Calm? I need The Little Book of Calm. Do you have it? I need it. I’m late for work. The – the – Calm, The little book of.

Bernard: Uh…is this it?

Manny: Oh, no. it’s too big, too big. Little. Just little. Small

Bernard: This one?

Manny: No. No. Calm. The Little Book of Calm. The little one.

Bernard: This?

Manny: That’s the one. Yes. Money. How much?

Bernard: Two-fifty.

Manny: Two-fifty.

Bernard: I’ll just get you a bag.

Manny: No bag, no. I don’t need a bag. Just the book. The book.

Bernard: I’ll do you a receipt.

Manny: No. I don’t need a receipt. That’s fine.

Bernard: It’s broken. I’ll have to write one out.

Manny: Please.

Bernard: Little…

Manny: Look, I’ll do it! …of Calm. Two-fifty. Thank you. Um… “Stroke a.” No. “Travel.” No. Ah. “Let – let – let go once in a while. You are a loose lily floating down an amber river.” Hah. Sorry. I hate my job.

Bernard: What a strange man.

Black Books

January - First Meetings 12 months of 12 scenes in 2012



(via buggerygrips)



"I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don’t think I’d be very good at it." — Dylan Moran (via peglegcrumpet)

(Source: monocled--misanthrope, via dailydoseofdylanmoran)



I can’t play this either

I can’t play this either

(via supermagicmen)



"I think the truth is you fill your day, most of the time, by being in the washing machine of your own mind thinking ‘What’s this? When does it stop? Am I enjoying it? I don’t know…oh, it’s time to go to sleep. I can’t, I’m worried.’ And then you wake up and you smear jam over your family’s face and your own." — Dylan Moran (via ninestories)

(Source: i-am-not-a-lampshade, via btfreek)





josephmneary-deactivated2011032: Pearse: Mark. What is this? Mark. Mark, everybody’s dead. You know? I mean. Am I next, is that it? What are you gonna do? A bath in the eye or a fuckin’ clarinet up the hole. You know? Can I go anywhere? I’m scared frankly. Pearse: …Mark. You have to start thinking about this Mark, okay? I see it as we’ve got two options, okay? Mark: Just get the police. Pearse: That is not one of them. The first one involves …beards. And Morocco.

josephmneary-deactivated2011032:

Pearse: Mark. What is this? Mark. Mark, everybody’s dead. You know? I mean. Am I next, is that it? What are you gonna do? A bath in the eye or a fuckin’ clarinet up the hole. You know? Can I go anywhere? I’m scared frankly.

Pearse: …Mark. You have to start thinking about this Mark, okay? I see it as we’ve got two options, okay?

Mark: Just get the police.

Pearse: That is not one of them. The first one involves …beards. And Morocco.



parabellumeve: Dylan Moran and Simon Pegg in “Run, Fatboy, Run”(2007)

parabellumeve:

Dylan Moran and Simon Pegg in “Run, Fatboy, Run”(2007)

(via formerlyfroghat)



countrichmond: I’ll be dead by then

countrichmond:

I’ll be dead by then

(via thesexualhealingofrobertsmith)



ohwinston: hndfgjnnddfn unf

ohwinston:

hndfgjnnddfn unf

(via fierybiscuits)



letmeeatpears: Bill Bailey: this is disgustingDylan Moran: so disgusting.. I was in the writing room and I remember shrieking laughing and having to ask our producer because I was terrified that I .. I was insane. I just thought “is this really really sick?”. Black Books - DVD Commentary

letmeeatpears:

Bill Bailey: this is disgusting
Dylan Moran: so disgusting.. I was in the writing room and I remember shrieking laughing and having to ask our producer because I was terrified that I .. I was insane. I just thought “is this really really sick?”.

Black Books - DVD Commentary



the crunch


I like my mind-bend with a little action and my whiskey with a little fruit. (I cannot claim this advice is my own. I learned it in the gutter one night crawling home.)

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